GIRL TALK! - Boys, Trust, & More

Hey hey!

Okay. Today's post is going to be a little different. For the first time ever, I reread one of my diary entries from the beginning of 2020. It's about a guy. I wanted to have a quick girl-talk sesh to share how the moral lesson of trust has been re-entering my life. 

We all have different levels of trust and different speeds at which we develop that with potential dating partners! For me, I'm no longer single, yet this still happens to be the thing that makes or breaks my relationships. 

Let me just read my diary entry from January 3rd, 2020:

"Back to my insecure feelings around [he who shall not be named], I just have to trust him and know that everything is okay. If something is not okay I just have to trust that I will find out. My insecurity only shows who I am, not necessarily who [he] is. If it’s true that men are not detailed, emotional, thoughtful enough, or whatever, I think the best move as a woman is to focus on bettering herself and remaining respectful towards herself and her partner. If I simply focus on how I can be a better person for myself, I’ll be a better girlfriend by default and will deal with complications with grace and simplicity. I don’t want to complicate it or make problems that don’t exist. [He] was going to come home tonight but said that he’s going to meet his dad in LA so I trust that that’s exactly what he’s off doing. I also trust that because he called me to let me know, it’s all good. I called him and he didn’t answer about an hour ago, but it’s alright because I just wanted to say goodnight anyways. He’ll call me tomorrow or text, I know it. If he doesn't, that's okay too, because I already have my own agenda! However, I hope he’s down to take pics of me at the beach--LOL...praying that it’s good weather again like today! It was beautiful!"

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What I love about this entry is my self-awareness. The self-awareness required to catch yourself tripping in certain moments is always a constant work in progress. It's never the case that I'm perfectly aware of my own insecurities or faults 24/7!

More specifically, I admire three specific things that I said:
1. focus on bettering herself and remaining respectful towards herself and her partner
2. deal with complications with grace and simplicity
3. if he doesn't [call me or text me], that's okay too, because I already have my own agenda!

Girl!!!!!!!!
This.

I know I'm totally tooting my own horn. But as I mentioned, even I forget my own words and positive affirmations.

It's work to self-regulate your emotions, while using deeper core values, when we're trained to automatically default to outside relationship standards and belief systems. It's so crucial to go by what YOU want and believe, and what YOUR standards are for not just your partner, but YOURSELF.

So, healthy relationships require healthy belief-systems regarding your standards of what trust is. To start, use conscious effort and sacrifice your ego. Sometimes as girls, we get worked up and selfish over what we think we should have or deserve, when in reality, it's doing more emotional/relational harm than good at times!

We have a beautiful built-in alarm system when it comes to boys. We know when to be suspicious and when to withhold ourselves in order to protect ourselves and uncover the truth. However, have faith in what's meant to be and hold yourself high enough so that you don't need anyone else to, even when you're dating them! We love a secure relationship :)

Overall, I learned to go by your own standards, not the scripted version we are fed by society that hold these fairytale-like expectations towards our men. Invest in yourself, spread the love, and that love will come back to you.

That's all sis.

With love always,
Madi <3